How could she act like that — not somewhere else, but on a cruise ship where we’d be together for a whole week? Pretending not to know someone is even more tiring than just saying hello!
I saw someone familiar on the cruise. Out of all the cruise ships in the world, we were on the same one — what are the chances? I was happy to see her and smiled, ready to say hello. But to my surprise, she turned her head and avoided my eyes. Maybe I was wrong. Since there weren’t many Koreans on the ship, I thought maybe she was Chinese. But no — I was sure I knew her. Still, she acted like she didn’t know me at all, and it made me doubt myself.
Even on a big ship, once you’re on board, you run into the same people. I saw her reading a book at the buffet. I sat at a table near her on purpose. I tried again to say hello, but she kept her eyes on her book and never looked up. When she went to get food, she left her book to save her seat. I quietly looked at the cover — it was a Korean book.
Later, I saw her sitting on the deck, staring out at the ocean. I had nothing to do, so I sat near her again. I looked closely, just to be sure. Yes, she was definitely the woman from our monthly meeting. Was she pretending not to know me because she wanted to be alone?
Then I remembered something from long ago — when I moved to a new neighborhood and said to a middle-aged Korean man,
"Are you Korean?"
He coldly replied,
"I don’t talk to other Koreans."
Just like that.
Even my husband, who was the only person I came with, never left the cabin. He just sat on the balcony staring at the waves. On a ship sailing across the endless sea for over a week, it would be nice to have someone to talk to.
“Stop it. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to you. Why do you keep trying?”
Finally, my husband got annoyed and shouted at me.
My pride was completely crushed. After that, even when I saw her again, I ignored her like a stranger. I kept busy — swimming, jogging, yoga, dancing, going to the theater at night. I followed my own schedule and had fun by myself.
But even when I was enjoying myself, whenever I looked at the rolling waves, her angry, twisted face came back to my mind, and I felt sick inside.
“Is she depressed? Did her business fail? Is she divorced? Why is she pretending not to know me?”
My husband also stayed silent, staring at the wide ocean. In the late 1960s, his father worked as a chef on a cruise ship leaving from Miami for three years. Maybe he was remembering his father, who worked hard at sea to support the family. I was stuck in an uncomfortable, confusing situation. He was lost in memories. The cruise ended without much joy.
A month later, I saw her again at our regular meeting. She was wearing the same clothes from the cruise. She didn’t even look at me. I understand — sometimes life gets so heavy that we don’t want to talk to anyone, even people we know. But still, isn’t it too much to throw away even the most basic human kindness and just shrink away like that?
Even strangers on the ship nodded and smiled. I’ve lived in America long enough — I know when someone doesn’t want to be bothered. I wasn’t trying to push or annoy her. I just wanted to say hello.
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