Another deviation

'Oh, my god, this fat belly, how could I have eaten this way?

My friends and I each took up one room at three-bedroom resort and rolled around. We quarreled, ate and slept. I ran away from home because I do not want to repeat to prepare what I left out of my family’s meal. But the cleaning was done. I do not want to show the dirty thing that I have lived in if I can’t come back forever.

'When you have a strong leg, you should go out to eat something delicious food.’ That’s what my father used to say. I miss my father even more whenever I don’t want to cook.

When I visited Seoul, I was worried about my family who stayed in New York. My father said, "The world is going well without you. Don’t worried about it." Once my father stayed in the hospital for a long time. He though, 'Would it be a mess in his family business without him?' but he came home from the hospital, "Even if I was not at home, everything goes well.” He said relief.

I felt free to leave home for one week because I thought it might be better. Just like changing the TV channel with the remote control, I don’t have to sit around at home nagging the children and husband by like clicking and telling them what to do. I think they should get though their way to find themselves eating and wander in their own time.

My father was right. I had been going out a week, but they were doing well. Rather, they look bright as if they have completely released the stress.

In my own time, I looked back at the family that I had worked on and recharged it while resting. I knew that my obsession with the smallness of everyday life was also vain greed.

From now on, I will live with the decency that sometimes miss for those who need time alone.

When they are needed me will be willing for them, but when they do not need me, I have to go down on their own stage without being too close.

I dream of another deviation to find the stage for me.