“Brother-in-law, I’m sorry.”
That one sentence brought the whole family back together for a peaceful Thanksgiving.
It started on Labor Day. My older sister, my younger sister, and their husband came to our house. My younger sister’s husband is a mix of Scandinavian and British. He’s smart and handsome. He also helps take care of their daughter, whom they had when he was 40. He cooks, cleans, and treats my sister well. But many older Korean men are not like that. They sit around and expect their wives to serve them like maids.
While we were eating and drinking, my younger sister—who had always been upset about how her brother-in-laws (especially the oldest one) treated her sisters—suddenly said,
“Why do you treat my sister that way, Brother-in-law?”
She was tipsy and emotional.
I added my own thoughts, and things quickly got heated. My older sister joined in too. My husband, who had been listening quietly, saw the tension rising and said,
“Brother, what can we do? The world is changing. We should at least try to change with it.”
My brother-in-law looked shocked. Everyone was raising their voices.
My younger sister’s husband quietly disappeared like a cat.
My younger sister doesn’t know exactly how much money her husband earns or owns. He pays the bills. If she works, she adds to the household money. If she doesn’t, he gives her money, no questions asked. He never pressures her to work.
In my case, I manage all the money my husband earns. Even if he finds a dollar on the street, he brings it to me. He has a general idea of how much we have, but not the details. He’s never written a check. He lives thinking he’s rich. I don’t work outside the home, but I cook and take care of the kids. We don’t have a lot, so I worry about how to stretch every dollar.
But my older sister and her husband keep their money separate. Still, she does all the housework and fills in the financial gaps. We couldn’t stand it anymore. With the help of some drinks, we exploded like a protest on the street, shouting:
“It’s not fair to our sister!”
My brother-in-law’s anger boiled like a volcano in Hawaii.
Living in America for a long time, we each live our own way. It’s easier not to get involved in others’ lives. But sometimes, that Korean drama spirit still comes out.
This year, my younger sister offered to host Thanksgiving. But my brother-in-law was still upset and said he wouldn’t come. Only my sister would. So my husband had to step in. He doesn’t even eat turkey, but he said:
“Brother, how about I cook some fried king shrimp, seafood stew, and sashimi? Let’s have a drink at our place.”
My older sister brought salad and white kimchi. My younger sister brought baked apples and pumpkin pie.
And just like that—laughing and eating together—we forgot all about the fight.