Friday, December 27, 2013

First lane, second lane, or pave roads

As the years go by, the number of year-end cards delivered decreases. Is it because of the Internet? I put them by the window and look at it whenever I look out the window. I feel sorry because I only receive them without sending a card.

When the end of the year draws near, not only cards, but also one or two of my friends always send religious books, urging me to go the church carefully. "I'm sorry you didn't believe God even though you got everything. You'll go to heaven if you got salvation." It's a lot better than ‘If you don't go to church, you'll go to hell.’

It was the last day of the year a long time ago. After graduating from college, I met two of my best friends who had been wandering around without finding a suitable job. We bumped the wine glass under the candlelight and murmured.

A friend opened her mouth first. She said something like a Hollywood-style movie scene, 'I want to welcome my husband who lives in a picturesque house and comes back from work gracefully in a dress. She set up a newlywed house in a mansion as she wished.

Another friend said, 'I want to go to Paris, France, and live freely.' Jeon Hye-rin, who studied in Germany in the '50s when the scars of the war were not healed, was an idol of women. The friend, who adored Jeon Hye-rin, eventually went to Paris to study and marry a Dutch man and leads a wonderful life, engross in her work in Amsterdam.

Well, I don't have the appearance the men will fall in love me than the two friends, so I said, "I want to be a teacher without asking for a big wish." I wanted to study abroad, but I didn't dare spit out of my mouth because leaving Korea was like a dream, but I came all the way to New York after being a teacher.

I have felt many times in my life that 'if I try to hope and try, I can at least be similar.' It's not a family motto, but I should not just wish for it, and leave it to heaven after doing everything I can.

Even now when I'm older, I have another wish besides painting. I'm doing my best for it and waiting. If it doesn't come true, I'll admit that I were not doing everything I can and the will of heaven is not up to me! Like my father said, "If it's not the first lane, it's the second lane. If it's not, it's the paved roads. What are you worried about?"

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