As the years go by, I get fewer and fewer holiday cards. Is it because of the internet? I put the cards on my windowsill, and every time I look outside, I also glance at the cards. I feel uncomfortable receiving cards when I don’t send any myself.
Around the holidays, not only cards arrive—one or two friends always remember to send me religious books. They kindly suggest I go to church.One writes, “You have everything, but it’s sad that you haven’t accepted God. Only with salvation can you go to heaven.”
An old man says, “If you don’t go to church, you’ll go to hell.”
Well… that’s still much better than what the old man in my neighborhood used to say.
I remember one New Year’s Eve a long time ago. After graduating from college, I had no job and was feeling lost. I met with my two best friends. We sat under candlelight, clinked glasses, and quietly shared our wishes for the future. One friend spoke first:
“I want to live in a beautiful house, wear a dress, and gracefully walk down the stairs to welcome my husband home from work.”
It sounded like a Hollywood movie scene. And her wish came true—she began her married life in a mansion.
The second friend said,
“I want to live freely in Paris and paint.”
At that time, many educated women admired Jeon Hye-rin, who had studied in Germany after the Korean War. That friend loved her deeply and finally went to study in Paris. She married a Dutch man and now lives in Amsterdam, happily working on her art.
Compared to them, my dream felt small. I said, “I just want to become a teacher.” I also wanted to study and work abroad, but back then, going overseas felt like an impossible dream. I didn’t dare say it out loud—but I wanted it badly. In the end, I became a teacher and even came to New York.
I’ve learned this truth many times in life:
“If you truly want something and try hard, you can at least get close to it.”
It’s not an official family motto, but in my heart, I live by “Do your best, then leave the rest to heaven.” Wishing alone is not enough—you must give it your all, and then trust the outcome. Even now, as I grow older, I have wishes. I am doing my best and patiently waiting. If my wish doesn’t come true, maybe it’s because I didn’t try hard enough—then I must accept it. As my father used to say,
“If the first lane doesn’t work, try the second. If not, take a nice country road. These days, even side roads are well-paved, so why worry?”
Outside, the snow fell like soft cotton candy. Then it got lighter and stopped. To all my readers, like snowflakes drifting in different directions, living busy lives—I hope all your wishes come true this New Year. Stay warm this winter!
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