I am sorry and thank you

I'm sorry, sons. Please understand me who was not cool.

I can’t be your favorite ‘cool’ Mom. As for you guys, I feel like a fish-like frenzy on a chopping board.

I talk to you softly and gently, but my voice gets dark and rough to your dad. If I talk quietly with people and it's about you, what if I suddenly get a fever?

Do you remember the car accident when I was in a hurry to pass the stop sign because I forgot your swimsuit while you were learning how to swim? Even if you were going to the Boy Scout, you sit behind the car and call 'mom and suddenly I stopped and crashed into the car? All three of us are lying in the hospital. Do you remember dad's running in surprise? When it comes to you guys, I can’t help but being confused unlike usual.

Despite being an adult, there are moms who move and follow their children wherever they move. I did not follow you where you go, but my mind is no different from those mothers.

Thank you for visiting yesterday with you guys. I was tired and lying down and when I here you’re coming, Where did I get that energy? I stood up and prepared for dinner without any difficulty. You are the one who gives me the courage, energy and happiness. It’s good to see you guys, but I wouldn’t ask you to call me and visit me. Be faithful to your life, as it is welcome to come and I do not disappoint even though you don’t come.

I thought a lot after you guys left. Is not it perhaps I treat you both in a different way? Is not love on the one hand supported? Mom tried to do the same to both of you. If I ever said anything or did anything to discriminated against you guys please let me know.

Thank you, my sons. I didn’t even buy dress and toys you wanted because we had a hard time living when you were young. Thanks to only a few months of guitar lessons, I just smile quietly while listening to the clear guitar sound from your room.

I’ve been giving you a lot of spam and egg fry. However, you say that you do not remember it. I am so sorry and thank you.