“If you could start your life over, what would you do?” Someone’s question made me look back at my past.
At some point, I realized I had started living only for the "now." I live by a simple belief: the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift. I believed that if I did my best in this very moment, both the past and the future would take care of themselves. I didn’t want to regret the past, nor did I want to waste time worrying about an unpredictable future. The only thing I can truly control is this moment.
Relationships are the same. If I stop staying in touch with someone, the connection naturally fades into a memory of the past. If they reach out, the relationship continues in the present. However, I don't set expectations for the future, as I cannot predict if the bond will last.
When conflicts arise, I choose to end things quietly rather than fighting. Perhaps that is why I feel neither regret nor lingering attachment to past relationships. When I part ways with people, I often think, "Today might be our last meeting." This thought helps me cherish the time and enjoy every second of our parting. Once we say goodbye, I don't dwell on whether they will contact me again.
This habit of focusing on the present deepened after I started writing for the JoongAng Ilbo. It has been part of my mental process for about 20 years. Before that, my mind was filled with bitter and sad memories. But after pouring out the small fragments of my daily life onto the newspaper pages, my regrets, longings, and sorrows seemed to vanish, as if erased.
I let go of the past and expect nothing from the unpredictable future. As long as my luck isn't bad, I trust that destiny will arrive in a good form. So today, I simply focus on the now.
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