Hand in hand

My hands were always soft and fluffy in my father 's hand, until my father can walk healthy.

I think, 'What did my mother's hands look like?' I cannot remember the shape and feel of her hands. It is because I do not remember holding my mother's hand. She was sick all her life after giving birth to my younger sister.

After school, I fell asleep lying beside my mother. she used to pinch my calf with her thumb and index toes, which I didn’t get up until dinner. And she used to say ‘you have to go to school.’ I woke up frantically. I was angry with her for not having woken up looking for a bag pack. My mom gave me a cold cola bottle and she used to laugh. I look out of the reddened window in the evening glow, and the sweet coke flavor made me lose my temper. How could she lay sick and know what I wanted.

When my mother-in-law first came to New York after marriage, I unconsciously grabbed her hand. Her tough, rough and hard hand like a turtle that had never been held by anyone else, did not throw away my hand. We always walk hand in hand when we meet.

Both of my sons, who have been adults since they were children, did not let go of my hands. Unlike the thick, soft touch of my father's hands, it is a thin and long soft feel.

My husband does not hold my hand when we walk. My hands, clutching my father 's hand, habitually hung in my husband' s hand, but he thrust it out. My embarrassed hands gave up and touched the bottom of my pocket.

These days my husband holds my hand occasionally. His hands are hard and rough. My husband, who is a ballpoint pen artist, has a strong hand because he has swung a ballpoint pen for more than 30 years. I would rather get rid of his hand, but I cannot even say that I do not like it. Untactful husband thinks that I like to hold his hands and gives me more strength.

Even if it hurts, I’ll have to keep holding my husband's hand!