Friday, February 13, 2015

The sound of dogs eat grass

"Are you going to have a memorial ceremony for ancestors?” “I had it at New Year’s Day.” "I did not do it because I was bothered by the New Year’s Day. I am going to have it at Chinese New Year.” “It'll confuse the soul. You go back and forth to the New Year’s Day and Chinese New Year.” “If it's confusing, it's not a soul. I’m sure soul will find the way, because soul can skip the time and space and to immigrate.” “Sister, don’t you know that the soul can not cross the water!"

To the sister who is reluctant to bow down according to the doctrine of ‘Do not serve a gods other than me.’ I said, "The memorial ceremony for ancestors is not a religion. It is a custom of ancestor worship."

I grew up watching the memorial ceremony for my ancestors. “It’s a memorial service today. Come early." I haven’t had a year-end party. There were many annoying days that envied friends who had fun.

I was luck to avoid marrying eldest son, who had to perform a memorial service. My husband is second son, but unfortunately, the elder brother’s wife passed away. As the second son, my husband has to perform it.  However, I am getting less involved.

My father-in-law is fashionable, gentle, and good nature man. All the three daughter-in-law married for our father-in-law’s character. I tried to cook food with the children and perform his memorial service with gratitude. I feel like I am thankful for the father-in- law. However, more and more the memorial service is dislike. I have to endure it to make my mother-in-law feel better, but I don’t want to set the table. My mother-in-law, who is in LA, did not come to the memorial service, so the amount of food and the size of the table have decreased.

My New Year's resolutions are 'Do not do what I do not want to do.'

I said to my husband that ‘When the disciples asked about the death, Confucius said," how do I know about death when I don’t know the life I am living?’ “Do you know that the meaning of that is to be faithful to reality, not to be posthumous? I will not do it from now on." He didn’t answer. "Okay? I do not have ~ "There is still no response.

He is staring at me like, no matter how hard you try, that’s not enough.

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