Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Promises and lies

A long time ago, I hurt a child. I didn't mean it, but I had to lie. Twenty-seven years later, the child's cries are still vivid.

A Korean grandmother lived next to my apartment. When we meet in the hallway, we only say a few words of greeting. One day, I said I was going to visit Seoul for a while, and I got a call a few days later. She asked me if I would take a three-year-old boy to his biological grandfather in Seoul.

She was said that the child's father went to America first to settle down. The child's mother waited for her husband to invite them. But when she didn't hear from husband, she came to New York with child in search of her husband. She went to her husband's address and stayed up all night waiting by the door many days, but she couldn't meet him.

After suffered with her child, she met a man who would remarry. However, it was a story that a man who was trying to remarry had to send the child to his husband's parents.  

The mother came to the airport carrying a child who slept in a sad way.  "When you arrive at Gimpo Airport, child grandfather will take him," She told me and handed the child over to me. The mother stood crying until she could not see us.

The child who was sleeping on the plane woke up crying for his mother. I comforted him by calling his name. The child fell asleep again after being unable to check his mother's face because it was dark inside the plane. I had to get off in Alaska for a while. When the light came on, the child began to cry, looking for his mother. No matter how much I tried to appease him, he was obstinate. "If you keep crying, I won't take you to your mother," I said, half intimidated. The child stopped crying after a moment's thought. Sensing that the situation was serious, a child clung to me thinking that if he lost me who knew his name, he would never see her mother again.

It was heartbreaking to think that the obedient child was getting away from his mother without knowing anything about it. We became quite close when we flew to Korea.

When we arrived at Gimpo Airport, the child cried and clung to me so as not to go to his biological grandfather. How does he know his grandfather who broke up with him when he was a baby? When he woke up, there was no mother, and a woman who knew his name promised him to take to his mom, so he listened carefully and followed her. But the woman lied and left him to unknown grandfather. The child was so embarrassed that he couldn't help but hold onto my skirt and try not to fall off.

The child, caught by his grandfather gave me a grudging look and said, "Mom, Mom," and struggled to come to me.

It is said that a parent's divorce hurts a child, such as cutting the body in half. I became an accomplice in the wounds I inflicted on the child. I feel sorry for myself for doing such a thing.

I hope the child is too young to remember, but if he remembers, my lies would have hurt him most for the first time in his life. I sincerely hope that the child, who would be 30 by now, will live happily somewhere.

No comments:

Post a Comment