When the wife dies, some men go to the bathroom and laugh. Conversely, I saw a man crying after his wife died. It was at a funeral recently. Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw him weeping with an emaciated face.
It is heartbreaking to imagine him wandering alone in his empty house after his wife dies. The interior of his house, which cannot be imagined as a house where Koreans live, comes to mind. Upon entering the spacious living room, a black grand piano is in the aisle leading to the dining room. The antique furniture that the wife has collected for many years is separated from each other as if they had entered the exhibition hall. It is very sad that the companion dies and remains like a piece of furniture.
When I was on a date as a young, I never said let's break up first. Instead of saying no even if I don't like him, I chose to keep my distance. If I keep my distance from him and wait, lose contact and the relationship ends. It was because I thought it would be comfortable to remain and looking at the back of the person who left me.
I couldn't get a job when my friends got a job. I enrolled in the early morning class of the Japanese language academy. Every month, the people who registered left by one and two. I had nowhere to go. Eventually, only two registered students were left. The teacher could not stand the empty atmosphere and stopped the class.
I went hiking to Jiri mountain from graduate school. It was a forced march that had to cross seven mountains starting in Namwon and ending in Gurye. Naturally, I received the suspicion of my colleagues that I could be an obstacle to the forced march because of my weak body. I gently followed the colleagues as I ate the raisins and cheese my father had prepared in my pockets. On the way, the colleagues started to lag one by one, and then some of them descended. When I reached the seven mountains, I was in the lead.
Four of my close friends got married in a hurry and I was left alone. I went to study abroad because I felt sick of living in Korea that was left behind without being chosen. Even my co-workers while studying abroad got their degrees, got a job in their home country, and left. The homeland I remember reminds me of me left alone in the cold and lonely. I don't want to go back to my home country.
Even now, I still keep my seat until the end even if they leave one by one after meeting and chatting with my friends. It became a habit to get used to what was left behind and enjoy it. The acquaintances I met at the funeral also earnestly hope that he will not be sad at the place of his wife's death and that he will enjoy the life that is left behind.
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