Lost homecoming

'Avignon' is a word that represents my fond romantic days.

This is the name of a dressmaker store that I frequented with my best friend after graduating from high school. It was the place where her stylish sister, who was attending Ewha University, used to make clothes. We used to search fashion magazines, find our favorite style, and make clothes. We dress up to the fullest.

My friend grew up seeing with her older brother and sisters who studied well. She has matured. And neat and straight and did everything well. After all these years together, she was married and left for America without saying anything.

Perhaps it was her influence, I changed my direction to America instead go to Europe. I tried to look for her in America as if I were looking for one lost wing, but it was in vain. When I visited Korea, I rolled up my arm and searched for her past traces.

I wandered through the Maljukgeori where my friend used to live but I couldn't find her house because there was so many apartments built where was once only a field. The path where the shoots sprouted up, the dense trees where the cicadas were crying, and the road that tried to avoid slipping through the snowy field path disappeared without trace. I remembered the church that friend attended. I found out that she attend a church not far from where I live in New York.

I went to the church. I saw a boy who looked just like a friend in the hallway. "What's your mother's name?" The last name was different, but first name is the same. Tears poured down as soon as I saw a child who looked like a friend when she was a child. Her husband said, "she's preparing to invite people at home, so let's go together."

The elegant people she's invited to gathered around the swimming pool of a large house and chatted. I suddenly burst out and held to busy friend and crying. I was a very immature human being.

At that time, I was very difficult to live. A shadow of pity hung over my friend's face, which was beckoning me to go well. I don't know why I was in such a hurry to find a friend without waiting until I live well.

The friend, who is also an executive at the reunion, called me to come to the homecoming. I was excited, but I made her hard again. She paid my share because I didn't prepare my alumni dues. I went to the next reunion and tried to return my dues, but the calls she made to me meant, "Most of alumni are well off. Especially, we are having next meeting at very successful home in Long Island, and I'd rather not you come because I'm worried that you are going to get hurt. 

Even now, the reunion continues in some places, but I've only been once and I didn't participate anymore. I should've waited for the time that I live well.