We often find ourselves experiencing the truth behind the saying, “The wrong train can take you to the right destination.” Even if you board the wrong train, if you don't despair and wait, you will eventually arrive at an unexpected new place. In fact, on that unfamiliar journey, you might meet precious people and reach an even better destination. If you never get on the train, you can't get anywhere. Even if you miss one, stepping onto the next train opens up a world of unexpected experiences.
Back when I lived in Seoul, I wanted so badly to get married. However, being short and frail, no man easily approached me. Through a matchmaker, I met a doctor whose family blatantly demanded an apartment, claiming it was the only way to balance the scales. “Do you want to buy an apartment to marry that doctor? Or would you rather use that money to study abroad?” My father asked with a serious face, as if trying to see into my true heart. “I want to study abroad.” “I knew you would say that. Tall American men don't care much about height anyway. Who knows? Your soulmate might be waiting for you in America. And what if you don't get married? Just live freely.”
With that, I gained my independence from my father and unpacked my bags at a dormitory at Adelphi University in Long Island. During my first Thanksgiving in America, it snowed non-stop for three or four days. I couldn't step outside, and even the school cafeteria was closed. Having failed to prepare any food in advance, I starved for three whole days. Finally unable to bear it any longer, I called my father. “Dad, I want to come home. I can’t live here.” “Alright, then. You can't leave right now because of the weather, so come back once the snow stops.” Strangely enough, once the snow stopped and I finally ate something, I cleared my mind. Since I had already paid the tuition, I thought I should at least finish the semester. After that, whenever New York felt too hard to bear, I would call my father and cry, saying I wanted to return. Each time, he would gently comfort me. “Of course, if it’s too hard, you should come back. But you’ve gone all the way to New York—have you even been to Manhattan yet? Just going there on the weekend and watching the people walk by will teach you so much. You should at least see Manhattan properly before you come back.”
Following his advice, I wandered into the heart of Manhattan and found myself in Central Park. Sitting by the lake, I quietly watched the people passing by. Seeing them enjoying nature and living their lives so fully, a deep desire welled up inside me: I wanted to live freely and beautifully just like them. In the end, I put off returning to Seoul and transferred my school to Manhattan.
Not once did my father rush me to finish my studies and come home. Whenever I whined about wanting to go back to Korea, he quietly guided me to love New York instead, putting my worried mind at ease. Although I failed to catch the 'safe train' called marriage in Seoul and had to take a long, arduous detour, I eventually arrived at the destination I truly desired.
Suddenly, I look over at my husband, who is dozing off beside me. No, perhaps I am still on that train, journeying toward that beautiful destination even now.
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