Even though it's an affair

As if the fallen leaves are wandering in search of a place to fall,  my mind is also wandering.

I watched the movie Brief Encounter (1974). Doctor Alec Harvey (Richard Burton) helps Anna Jesson (Sophia Loren) get something out of her eye at a train platform. Both are married and have children. One meeting leads to many times and they fall in love. They attempted to bond physically at a friend's apartment, but failed when the friend returned home early. The two of them are afraid that their affair will be discovered, and unfortunately it ends.

I re-watched The Bridges of Madison County (1995) starring Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. A boring woman whose husband and two children have left home for a while meets a lost photographer and shares four days of love. The man asks the woman to leave the village together. Eventually he leaves alone. The woman looks pitifully at him who leaves the village through the car window on a rainy day. The scene where she hesitated holding the car door handle whether to go to him or not is clearly revived.

I re-watched my favorite movie, In the Mood for Love (2000), starring Wang Jo-wi and Jang Man-ok, where subtitles that 'when she met him, she lowered her head shyly and left because of his timidity,’ start with tells the beginning and end in advance. 

A man and a woman collide silently in a cramped space in Hong Kong, but no physical contact is shown, and only music represents their earnest love. The scenes of lonely men and women waiting and passing by in a still moment are like the canvas of Edward Hopper, a artist who quietly painted the quiet emptiness of a big city.

In early winter when it rains, I look out of the window where raindrops knock and fall on the window. I listen to the theme song of In the Mood for Love while looking at fallen leaves wet with rainwater rolling on the floor. Unknowingly, I get drunk with the rhythm and lower my head.
 
All three movies are stories of mature love that cannot be achieved. Watching their earnest love makes me generous even though it's an affair. I even think it would be better for them to give up my position as a wife and leave because they are anxious to be together. 

Aren't those who commit adultery constantly wandering in search of a partner because they love the feelings they are in love with? Marriage lives on loyalty, promise, responsibility, trust and fellowship rather than love. Isn't Jo Kang-ji's position occupied by giving up the expectation of husband's unchanging and unending love, overcoming adversity together, and waiting patiently?