When I look at the sea, I become small. When the waves come with a rough sound from afar, I am lost in old thoughts. When the waves come with white foam and leave, I am also riding the waves and going somewhere.
This summer has been hot. I didn't feel the heat. If I was hot, I went into the sea water and came out. I stood in the sun and dried my wet body. I looked around at the various actions of people around me, and when I got hot, I went back into the water.
I got out of the water and rubbed sand to fit my body and laid down comfortably. Even if I lie down in a bikini on the open beach, no one is paying attention to me. When I hear the sound of waves two or three times, I fall into a sweet deep sleep. I was woken up by my snoring or the sound of children playing. I gazed blankly at the distant sea, then put my neck out in the water and submerged again.
Exposure to the sun makes the skin age faster, but I can't give up suntanning. I sleep, walk, and swim in a bikini repeatedly in the sea. Without even realizing it, I became unconscious of people's eyes. The repetition of feeling like a flying seagull is free as if it is in my own space.
These actions also affect real life. I'm not conscious of people's eyes. I dress up as I please and live as I please. I don't care what others think of me or blame me. I'll do as I please, and they'll live as they please. What does it have to do with me when they say what they want to say and write with their fingers? I'm too lazy to talk about other people and make excuses. I just work and enjoy my life like the waves are constantly coming in.
Even though I don't remember the criticisms I heard from others, even if I hear that, I don't care. If I care about it, it's mine, but if I don't, care about it, isn't mine. I train myself and make a habit. Simply put, if you become brazen, you will not cling to other people's eyes and words.
Life for me is a pretty exciting open stage. As I wander into the sea, mountains, fields, and unfamiliar roads in search of ways to enjoy myself, I become a different person from yesterday. Nature is my friend, teacher, and religion.
My heart aches when I think of a lonely beach that has no people to listen to the sound of the waves I left behind.
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