"How hard would it be? How are you doing?"
I thought about you engulfed in sorrow
It reminded me of a story my senior told me a long time ago when his wife was ill with cancer.
"I appreciate those who come to see me, but I have a hard time taking care of my sick wife and treating those who come to see me. I just want them to leave me alone. And they've been bringing food on the way to see me. I can't say it's delicious even though I was enjoyed it. I'm afraid they'll bring another dish again. Can you understand how I feel when I can't say thank them?"
Even when my friend lost her son over 30-year-old, I couldn't say anything looking up at the sky. I tried not to show my tears to my friend, avoiding the eyes of my friend who was crying. Fortunately, the sun went down and it got dark, so my friend couldn't see my tears. If an elderly parent has passed away, I can console her. However, my honest confession is that I did not have the energy or courage to comfort those who lost their husbands and children. I feel sorry.
Even if you think of me as a harsh human being, I have nothing to say. I was embarrassed at myself because I have a habit of keeping my mouth shut when it's too sad a thing happens. Although I have lived in the United States for many years, it is still unfamiliar to me to see people express their feelings from moment to moment.
Last week we had the opportunity to meet at a meeting. Before we met, I was dressed in black and looked in the mirror. And I murmured words of consolation to you. Then I changed into a grayish dress. I turned my gaze away from you for not being able to give you words of consolation. In most cases, I was able to cheer up the people around me, but I remained silent again, confident that no words would be of any comfort to those who lost their husbands or children. I feel sorry.
I sincerely hope that time will heal your wounds of parting.
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