I was sitting quietly next to a man who looked like the Chinese actor Tony Leung and smelled sweetly of apples. He looked at me lovingly. I was wearing a dress with red and yellow flowers, which stood out beautifully against the dark navy background. He was a young Chinese businessman. My father had invested in his business, so our families knew each other. Sitting next to this wonderful man—who liked me—and thinking of my strong and supportive father, I felt so happy. But suddenly, a thought came to me:
What if my father loses his investment in this man’s company?
That scary thought woke me up. It was just a nap on a lazy afternoon—but what a dream! I wish it had continued. I wanted to talk to him more in the dream. But no, my worries about money had to ruin it.
There’s never been a man in real life who liked me as much as he did in my dream.
Still, back when I was under my father’s protection, life felt so secure. And people used to say I was cute, too...
Something happened on a cruise that made me feel a little uncomfortable, even though I understood it. Some people on the ship said to us:
“We look about the same age. Let’s say hello and get to know each other!”
They especially said my husband looked friendly. As we talked, I learned they were almost ten years older than me—and from Las Vegas. Wait... did they think I was their age? Was it the weather? The New York lifestyle? Maybe it was the hard life I’ve had being married to an artist. Their faces looked so young that I naturally talked to them like we were the same age.
There were 12 Koreans on this small ship—my husband and me, two couples who came together, and three other couples. I wanted to say hello first, but my husband pulled my sleeve and said to stay quiet and wait. So we passed by them a few times without saying anything. Thankfully, the couple from Las Vegas came to us with warm hearts. I was really grateful for that. Even my husband, who’s usually shy, was happy to talk and even had dinner with them. I said to him,
“See? Isn’t it nice to greet people first? Don’t stop me next time. There are three more Korean couples—I’m going to say hello to them!”
I went to one of the men and said, “Hello.” He just said “Mmm” with no real response. I felt embarrassed and walked away.
The next day, I saw three wives chatting and laughing together.
I said, “Hello,” again. One of them welcomed me warmly and invited me to sit down. She asked, “Where’s your husband?” I pointed to him, and she said her husband and the others were sitting at another table. She kindly brought my husband over to join them. They had been in the U.S. longer than us—since graduating from college—so they must be older. But they looked so young! Maybe because they didn’t struggle like I did? How could someone younger like me look older than them? Even after getting off the ship and walking around a new place, my mind kept going back and forth— between the sweet memories of being under my father’s care and the hard times after marrying my artist husband.
Ah! That’s when I realized—That was the difference between a doctor’s wife and an artist’s wife. Except for one person, all of those women were married to doctors!