"Cough, Cough."
kept me awake all night coughing. My head is throbbing and I feel heavy. Ever
since I was young, tonsils have always troubled me. But when I get older,
tonsil left my body as if not a place to be. However when windy winter begins,
a cold on the chest don't skip and come back to me.
Even though I have to
prepare a table for my husband, I am lying with a cough, If I wear a white
string on my head, I will look like a late grandmother-in-law.
My late mother grabbed my hand
in my dream and urged me to go somewhere with her. When I opened my eyes, I was
soaked in sweat. I wrapped around my whole body like an Arab woman in hijab,
and went out to buy medicine. My eyes were dizzy and legs were shaking. I drank
hot chocolate sitting in a local cafe. The pigeons that sitting on the roof of
the building across the street are dreary like me.
It makes me feel strange to
see young, healthy men and women clinging to each other. Several husband
friends divorced their old wife and remarried to young women. By the way, how
boring and hard my husband be living with me who cough all winter round. I'm as
a woman too, and it's hard for me to live with one man my whole life. He
doesn't express it, but he probably want to throw away me. Is there a guarantee that my husband won't
leave me? I can't stop him if he falling in love with a young woman.
I who is not a young pretty
princess can't lie down until my husband buys me some medicine. It is natural
to stand up and buy medicine for myself. I stagger to the drugstore.
Life is so cheap and sad. It
is the logic of a world where an old woman can't beat a young woman, an ugly
woman can't beat a pretty woman, a weak woman can't beat a healthy woman. It is
not up to anyone to blame. I have to solve on my own.
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