드디어 돈뭉치를 내 손에 움켜쥐었고 양쪽 호주머니에 마구 찔러 넣었다. 흘끔 뒤돌아보니 바짝 뒤따라오던 사람은 떨어진 돈뭉치를 보지 못했는지 아쉬운 표정이 없다. 나는 주머니에 두둑한 돈의 촉감을 만지며 아무 일도 없었다는 듯 가던 길을 염화시중의 미소를 띠며 천천히 걸었다.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
'희망' 이라는 이름의 허리케인
드디어 돈뭉치를 내 손에 움켜쥐었고 양쪽 호주머니에 마구 찔러 넣었다. 흘끔 뒤돌아보니 바짝 뒤따라오던 사람은 떨어진 돈뭉치를 보지 못했는지 아쉬운 표정이 없다. 나는 주머니에 두둑한 돈의 촉감을 만지며 아무 일도 없었다는 듯 가던 길을 염화시중의 미소를 띠며 천천히 걸었다.
Friday, November 26, 2010
A hurricane named Hope
I was walking down a long, bumpy road, looking around for a place to rest my tired legs. Then, in the distance, I spotted something—was that a bundle of green paper? My heart started to race. Could it be money? The closer I got, the more sure I became—it was money. But I noticed someone walking close behind me, which made me nervous. I needed to grab it before they saw it. My steps quickened. Finally, I snatched up the bundle and stuffed it into both pockets as quickly as I could. I glanced behind me—the person following didn’t seem to have seen it. No disappointment on their face. Feeling the weight of the cash in my pockets, I walked away slowly with a calm smile, pretending nothing had happened. Then—bang!—I woke up. The sharp, early morning noise of a garbage truck collecting trash from a nearby body shop jolted me awake. Oh no… That thick green bundle of dollars had looked so real in my dream!
Every day, I check the mailbox, hoping there’s no bad news—even just wishing for no stressful letters. I skim through the mail with a serious face, sigh in relief, toss away junk, and take care of the bills. All I wish for is a peaceful, uneventful day. Just like yesterday. Just like now.
There was a time when the bills piling up in the mailbox made me feel desperate—like I wanted to run away. I even joked about moving to Haenam, Korea’s “end of the land.” Surely no one would chase me there to collect bills! Or maybe I should join the Unification Church—they say they’ll at least take care of your basic needs. Even now, as my life stabilizes, I can’t seem to shake the anxiety from my early immigrant days. Maybe that’s just part of being an immigrant.
Today again, I opened the mailbox with nervous hands. There it was—a bright orange paper.
“Looking for a space to film a movie. Contact if you have a studio.”
Something about it smelled like money. I pulled it out of the trash where I’d tossed it and looked again. Could my dream be coming true?
I called the number. They showed up quickly. Someone came and took lots of pictures of the studio. Then the manager arrived and said he’d get back to me. Not long after, the manager returned with an interior designer. They explained the plan: one day to prep, one day to shoot, one day to put everything back. Three days in total. When they offered the payment, it was more than I expected. I didn’t even know where to look—I just stared awkwardly at the ceiling, trying to look cool.
Once the contract was signed, the money was basically mine. I got so excited, I immediately bought a case of wine. While sipping a glass, I started dreaming about how I’d use this unexpected cash. First, I’d go to the skincare place my friend recommended—great prices, great service. I’d get rid of these sunspots and freckles and maybe lift my drooping eyelids. I’d also finally buy that flat-screen TV. And maybe I’d go visit my younger son in Bangkok. On the way, why not stop by that “end of the land” town I used to joke about? My head was full of plans—dozens of ideas a day about what I’d do with the money.
After depositing the check at the bank, I came home.
“Oh my gosh.”
Waiting for me at the house were unexpected expenses—almost exactly equal to the money I had just received. So this is why people say that when unexpected money comes in, an unexpected expense follows.
I looked up at the sky, and the clouds seemed puffier than ever—like they were mocking me. While I was busy reaching for those unreachable clouds, a big wave came crashing in and washed away all my dreams…
…leaving only that case of wine behind.