Four hundredth story

 Until I wrote the two hundredth story, I had written about the suffering from the hardships of life of the struggling artist couple living in Brooklyn. As if squeezing pus from the wound, I had been spit out one character at a time. From the 300th story, I wrote the process of gradually developing my normal self away from the dark life of the past. 

 When I started writing in the Korea Daily in June 2008, Why do I only remember the memories of living so suffering! After spitting out all the hard memories, the wound seems to have healed and I guess I didn't think of it anymore. 

 Writing is about opening up my inner self, facing myself, healing, and awakening my thoughts. Maybe it was because I pulled out the tangled thread that was curled up inside me, untied it, and cleared the dark past. There was no more pain, and the change took place gradually. I was freed from pain and sorrow. 

 My husband's perspective has also changed. "Mrs. Lee, how long have you been writing for the Korea Daily?" "It's already been 14 years." "You are so persistent. It's great that you write 400 articles on time, regardless of whether they were good or bad. I've known for a long time that once I get caught by my wife, it's over. It must be because you received the DNA of the tenacious Jeonju Lee clan of the 518 years of the Joseon Dynasty.” 

 "Originally, I prefer to go thin and long. If I try to write grand stories, I can't write for long. I don't eat all the delicious things at once, I save them and write them as if I was eating them little by little. I don't know how to write anything profound. I have survived until now because I just kept writing small chats around me, so far. 

 In the past, I was worried that I couldn't write to the newspaper on time because I couldn't think of the subject. Now that worry is gone. While taking a walk, the subject suddenly comes to mind, even while chatting with a friend, or even while sleeping. All I need to do is pay a little attention to catch the moment when the subject comes to mind. 

 To be honest, I'm sorry for the readers. My writing, which has fallen into inertia, might be boring. I've heard so many times from my acquaintances that I've been told how can you reveal your private stories so much, but I don't mind. It changes and improves as if I went out of the small room to the square. Writing is good for me. I guess humans are very selfish." 

 If I hadn't written for the past 14 years, what would I be like today? Sometimes I wonder.