A bird in my heart

I have a bird in my chest. The size, color, and appearance of the bird are unknown. One day he struggles to fly away in frustration, but one day he is as quiet as if he was sleeping.

Every time a bird flaps its wings, I am in agony, unable to pull myself together. Sometimes it lasts for hours and sometimes it goes for days. If it lasts long, I lose my appetite and lie down. Then the bird suddenly becomes quiet as if it found a safe nest. I sneak up from my bed and try to cheer myself up.

Sometimes I put the bird to sleep and sometimes the bird itself becomes quiet. Wouldn't it be time to let the bird go? Birds fly freely and I want to be comfortable without being swayed by bird.

I want to take the bird out of my body and send it flying away, but it's not easy to take the bird out and send it away. Is death the only way for the bird and I to part ways? Can't we really go our separate ways before we die?

If it is something that can only be solved by death, I should accept it as part of my body and live without being swayed whether the bird makes a fuss or not. The bird may fly away because the bird doesn't want to live with someone who doesn't play with. This is my task.

The eye pressure was high, so I went in and out of the eye doctor's office from time to time. One day, the doctor asked me to sit in the waiting room for a while until the pressure goes down even after the treatment was done. Then one day, the doctor told me that I had to undergo surgery before glaucoma come, so I had to do it all of a sudden. I had surgery on my right eye first. And a week later, I had surgery on my left eye. I thought I'd have another doctor diagnose me, but I gave it up and hurried to do what the doctor said. This is because my father often used to measure his eyes pressure. And since my aunt was young, she began to slowly become blind. She treated her eyes there with the help of her daughter who lives in Germany, but ended up losing her sight.

I asked my doctor if my eyes were ruined because I was painting, writing, or because of the computer I was living with. “It has nothing to do with those things, it runs in the family.” Laser surgery was simple and the surgical result is good, the doctor said. However, a gray dot in the left eye follows each time my eyes move. I'm scared to open my eyes because I feel nauseous and nervous. 'How can I live with if it follow me like this forever!' The bird in my heart impulses me flapping its wings nonstop. It's okay to darken the house and wear sunglasses. The doctor only says that it will get better over time. It's been over two months.

Do it if you want to flap your wings at a bird. It's a good thing I'm not blind like my aunt. If I can't fly you away, we have to live together," I murmured, training to accept the bird flaps the wings as part of my body. The gray spots that were clearly and frequently seen were blurry and less visible.

Is that the reason what the doctor said that it will get better over time? Or is it because it's part of training to accept the bird flap the wings as part of my body?