Summer is Leaving

As the long day begins to wane, I dress up and step outside. I want to walk, enveloped in the midsummer night. Walking with the breeze that flutters my skirt, neither too hot nor too cold, I can fully savor a sense of freedom. It feels as though the summer I love is preparing to depart, slowly lifting its feet. The thought of summer leaving makes me feel both resentful and sad. When summer ends, the days shorten, and the nights come quickly. It's like moving from brightness into darkness, like parting with someone I love.

While I don't mind the heat, I can't stand the cold. I'm happy to travel to warm places, but I wouldn't even think of going somewhere cold. Although I've been on many cruises and traveled to various places, I've never gone to Alaska. Just hearing the name Alaska makes me feel a chill.

Since my teenage years, I have always felt particularly sensitive to autumn. The coming of autumn frightened me. It was like the end of a cheerful gathering, leaving me alone, lying down in darkness. My mother used to worry about my autumn melancholy. She would give me extra spending money and encourage me to visit a friend. How could she know me so well, as if she were living inside my heart? My husband, whom I've lived with for even longer than I lived with my mother, still hasn't noticed and he says.

“You have an excess of cheerfulness,”

Could it be that I don’t have depression? Even without expressing it, my mother always knew what I wanted to eat and why I was upset, and she took care of it. My husband, being 'the other side' as people say, is naturally less perceptive, but I accept that.

Long ago, my husband went to teach at a university in Seoul and stayed in my father’s rooftop room for a year. Even now, he fondly remembers that time and expresses his gratitude toward my father. Perhaps influenced by my father, who never raised his voice and was always gentle, my husband became less irritable and more patient. He realized that getting angry or irritated only harms himself. As for me, I've never expected my husband to be like my mother or father, so I haven't set myself up for disappointment. Because I have no expectations of him, we’ve managed to live together for so many years without major conflicts and are still together.