Friday, February 25, 2022

last gift

 "It gets messed up when surprised and it gets solved when looking carefully. It's like I'm fooling around by my own thoughts." 

 As a monk once said, when I had a problem, I was startled and my intestines got twisted, so I went to and from the bathroom. In the rush to deal with the problem, the problems are more messed up. Instead of solving the problem, I made it as big as a rolled snowball and regretted it. As I sit on the toilet and examine the surprising problem, I realize that I am surprised that it is not a big deal. And then, as if unraveling a tangled thread, I gently solved it. 

 Nowadays when a problem arises that needs to be solved, I watch it without confusion or overreacting with fear. If it's short, it's two days, if it's long, it's put aside for a week or two, and I think about how to solve it. Then, there are times when I do not have to take any action and it resolves itself. Because there are things that need to be done in a hurry, and there are things that need to wait to get good results. It is to let time fix itself. 

 I often get lost while driving with my friend. "Just go. The road will connect. We were not going to go there to make money, and we were not making any appointments. When we got lost and went wrong, we had more fun things happen.” "That's right. We should be grateful that we didn't get into an accident while being impatient. We're just trying to have fun. Will it be different wherever we go?" 

 As I get older, I'm not as surprised as I used to be. Is it because I am not in a hurry? Is it because my memory is gone? 

 Getting older is not just bad. There are many conveniences. I can't remember it as used to be, but I just ignore the things I don't need to remember. In order to be comfortable for the rest of my life, I habitually leave only good memories and sweep bad memories out of my head. I have freed myself from bad memories that are useless. 

 My mother-in-law, who died last year at the age of 96, was healthy until she died. From one day, she didn't eat the meal. She suddenly had dementia and forgot to eat. she forgot to open her mouth, chew food, and swallow. She died while sleeping as if she had forgotten her hunger. 

 There are elderly people who die by cutting off their meals. Imagine how hard it must be. However, my mother-in-law die comfortably because of her dementia that came briefly before she passed away. Dementia helped her cut off meals. It seems that she gave the children the last gift so that they didn't have a hard time.

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