A debtor's confession

I am alone as if I were trapped on an island. I hear a siren, and when the siren suddenly stops near my apartment, I feel the ominous feeling that something is near. I hear only the clock sound. The day is long and slow. I am obsessed with all sorts of thoughts and goes back and forth from the present to the past. This is because I am stuck at home with coronavirus all day long.

Suddenly, I wondered if there is anybody who didn't get the money I lent to. Of course not. I wondered if there is someone else's money that I didn't pay back. There is. Why did I forget to pay back? I hate people who borrow and don't pay back even if small or big. How could I not pay back?

More than 35 years ago, I borrowed a substantial amount of money from someone. "How can you lend me a large sum of money without collateral?" asked to the lender. "You're so picky, I trust that you won't be able to live on your life without paying back your debts."  I paid her two percent interest every month until I paid off. It was very important and precious seed money.

The friend I borrowed the money is my best friend in high school. She came to America a year earlier than me and settled down. I felt like hell got married to a hopeless artist and living every day. One day, she asked me to come to a high school reunion. so I just took the pay price of meal. However, I was perplexed by the fact that I had to pay for the alumni fee. I borrowed it from her and haven't paid it back so far. Of course, I didn't go to the reunion anymore. I had the opportunity to pay back to her for a few more times since, but I couldn't pay it back because I didn't have enough money in my hands each time. Then I forgot it in my memory. No, I think I've determined to completely forget it.

I have to pay it off right away. I dialed her phone number that is on my old notebook. It was a disconnected number. I found her name and address on Google and called, but it is the same. It was all disconnected phone numbers, looking for and calling again. I contacted the reunion, but I couldn't find it. I also contacted her old job, which I heard through another classmate, but there's no one like her.

Maybe my friend decided not to see me at all because she couldn't ask me to pay back? “In the meantime, I didn't pay back your money because I had for living well, and I didn't contact you. Can you contact me. When the coronavirus is over, I'll pay back your money and I will treat you meals. Do you know I'm writing in the newspaper? You can find out by contacting The Korea Daily. Be sure to contact me. Sorry. Thanks"

Though she is now dead, a word stuck in my ear during I conversation with my grandmother-in-law from Hamkyong Province is still vivid. “Don’t be with a friend who doesn’t pay back the money in time