“What are you doing?”
“Just sitting.” Or “Lying down.”
That’s what I usually say when a friend calls.
If I can’t paint, I lie down and stare at the ceiling, trying to get ideas.
If I can’t write, I lie on the sofa and flip through a book, hoping it might help. So, my answer is almost always the same.
My friends think it's strange that I'm just lying around or sitting around doing nothing and not even making a single phone call.
There was a time when I used to call friends a lot, and talk for a long time without thinking much. But then, I stopped. All my friends are busy running their businesses. And strangely, every time I called, they suddenly got customers. I would hear the sound of a cash register, the opening and closing of money drawers, and small talk with customers. If the customer stayed a while and the conversation dragged on, I would quietly hang up.
One friend runs a dry cleaner, so she had to find clothes and take payment. Another friend, who runs a photo shop, said a customer came in for a passport photo. A friend who owns a liquor store told me to hold on because a customer just walked in. And a friend at a nail salon said she had an appointment and would talk later.
While they’re all busy making money, I was just calling from one friend to another. One day, a friend snapped at me,
“Why are you so childish? Don’t you make money?”
A few days ago, a friend who runs three stores called me. She’s so busy, it feels like she needs three bodies. Sometimes she gives me a ride when she goes shopping for her stores, and during that time, she shares all her stories.
I looked at her closely as she drove. Her eyes were red from tiredness, her face had lost weight, and fine wrinkles had formed. She told me one of her workers hadn’t come to work. When she went to check, she found out the man had a brain hemorrhage and was in a coma. He’s a 42-year-old Chinese man who worked hard to send money to his family in China. But recently, business was slow, and he was under a lot of stress. He had also complained about chest pain.
“I try not to worry too much and stay positive… but now I just want to rest,”
my friend said with a sigh.
“Then just take a break,”
I said without thinking.
“That’s easy for you to say! I’ve got so much going on.”
Before she could say again,
“Why are you so childish?”
I looked out the window, which was slowly turning dark, and stayed silent.