The women of my father's

“This is the woman I’m seeing. Say hello.”

I bowed my head in greeting and looked at the woman from head to toe. She seemed about 25 years younger than my father. I couldn’t believe he already had a woman in his life—Mom had been gone for less than six months.

“She lost her husband in a car accident and raised four kids on her own. She’s kind, a great cook, and good at knitting. She’s really talented. She already made a sweater for you when she heard you were coming from the U.S. If there's anything you want to eat, just tell her—she’ll make it for you.”

I had never seen my father so excited, speaking passionately with spit flying.

My father, the woman, and my husband and I—all four of us—went on a trip together. We passed through Songnisan, Andong, Bulguksa Temple in Gyeongju, and Baekam Hot Springs. I felt sorry toward my late mother, but my father was now alone, and I had to be a good son. I had no choice but to go along with what he wanted.

That woman stayed with my father for over 15 years and treated me kindly whenever I visited Korea. But one day, she disappeared. My father had hurt his leg while climbing Namsan and was bedridden. She must have thought he would never walk again. But my father, being strong and healthy, recovered quickly. He couldn’t forget her and searched for her. We found out she might be connected to a restaurant in Chungcheong Province, so we went there and waited the whole day—but she never showed up.

“Say hello—this is my new girlfriend.”
This time, it was a stylish and elegant lady. Over the years, my father had dated a Japanese woman, a woman who used to live in the U.S., and probably others I didn’t even know about—maybe even women younger than me. As long as he wasn’t lonely and could enjoy his later years, I didn’t care who he was with.

Years passed. Then one night, someone knocked on the door. It was the woman who had left him, now very overweight, standing at the doorstep. My father blocked her from coming in and told her to wait at McDonald’s. He quickly gathered all the money in the house and went to meet her. She tearfully apologized, saying she wanted to come back.

“Once a relationship ends, it can’t start again. Live well wherever you are,” he said.

He gave her the money, and she left, crying. She even called me in New York in the middle of the night, begging me to help change my father’s mind.

“Dad, why don’t you marry one of them? Just get married.”
“Women over fifty often have health issues. If I get married and put them on my family register, they’ll expect me to take care of them. I just want to live a peaceful life. One marriage in my lifetime is enough. That’s the least I can do to honor your mother.”