L’Amant

Everyone has different reasons for traveling: some travel for shopping, others for food. In my case, I travel to find new worlds, new ways of life. I could also say I travel to feel what I read in books and see in movies.

I watched the movie L’Amant (The Lover), which was released in 1992, and also read the book. The image of the thin French girl leaning her elbows on the rail of a ferry, wearing a fedora, left a strong impression on me. Since watching the film, I, too, have always worn a hat wherever I go and have wanted to visit the Mekong River, where the movie takes place.

The Mekong River, which I saw for the first time, was a color like meju beans mixed with a touch of white and pink.

"The river flows with a mysterious color, as if resigned," 

I remarked. My friend next to me retorted,

“Unbelievable! Have you lost all sense? Can you even imagine the filth beneath that water? The waste from all around flows into it, and you call it mysterious! Would you eat fish from that river? Really, you have such a strange mind.”

Seeing fishermen casting their nets into the constantly changing water color felt incredibly romantic. But faced with the reality up close, I turned my eyes away. The clumps of bushes and houses, nearly submerged, seemed as if they would be swept away by muddy water after a heavy rain.

Due to the shallow waters of the clay-colored Mekong River,  our cruise anchored in the middle of the river, and we arrived at a shabby village dock on a small wooden boat. I entered a grand old mansion standing apart from the noisy, large-scale, semi-open-air market. Framed by white marble arches, the mansion is a unique fusion of French and Chinese architecture. Above the entrance was a large gilded signboard inscribed with the Chinese characters Hwang geum soon(Soft Silk). Inside, one wall was decorated with family portraits of the mansion’s owner, and on the opposite hung faded photographs of the actors from L’Amant.

This mansion is the setting of the movie, which depicted a fiery love affair between a 15-year-old French girl and a wealthy 32-year-old Chinese man who had just returned from studying in Paris. Entering the house, I saw a large mother-of-pearl table, the male protagonist’s father used to lie down and smoke opium. In the smoky opium smoke, I remember the scene where his son strongly discouraged him from marrying the French girl. Under his father’s pressure, their love faltered, eventually ending when she left for France. As I toured the mansion with these scenes in my mind, a cup of tea was served, as if by the direction of old Hwang himself. As I drank, the scent of the tea and the timeless atmosphere made me wonder where their secret hideout was, behind that gray door in the market, where the two lovers would meet in secret.

In later, the girl became one of France’s most celebrated female authors, Marguerite Duras. The film is based on her autobiographical novel. The last scene, in which the man, his voice trembling, calls to say, “I still love you, will always love you, and will never stop loving you until I die,” is unforgettable.