There is no such thing as a free lunch

"Shall we sit on that hill over there for a bit?"

A man of average height, looking sharp in a blue shirt and beige pants, asked me. His profile was as charming as James Dean. His clothes smelled fresh, as if they had just been dried in the warm sun. We sat on the hill in silence until the glowing red sun disappeared over the horizon.

Soon, he stood up and started walking down the hill. I got up, too. He looked back and said, "Well, I should be going now." "Okay, me too."

As he turned to leave, I suddenly found the courage to shout to his back, "Would you like to grab a glass of wine? It’s on me."

The man, who had just said he was leaving, quickly found a bar, and before I knew it, we were sitting across from each other. Under the soft candlelight with gentle music playing, we clinked our glasses and shared a toast without saying a word.

Maybe it was because my dinner last night was a bit poor, but this was the dream I had last night. It was a dream where I held back my desire to have a meal with a man I briefly dated in college, and instead, elegantly enjoyed wine with him.

Why did that man always meet me at 3 PM—right after lunch—and say goodbye at 6 PM—right before dinner—whenever we hung out in college? Even now, after all these years, I still find it puzzling and a bit disappointing. He didn't look like he lacked money. He was a neat, stylish guy with a fair complexion and sharp clothes. Yet, strangely, we drifted apart without ever sharing a single meal. Did he have indigestion or something? It’s hard to believe I wasn't attractive enough to share a meal with, because he called me often and we met up quite a few times. 'Why did we always have to meet after lunch and part before dinner?' Even in my dream, I had to swallow that question.

Before we got married, my husband worked at a wig wholesale store on Broadway in Manhattan. Even with his low salary, he always bought me food and drinks. Sometimes he treated me to nice dishes and took me to upscale cafes in SoHo. He didn't even have extra clothes to change into, so he often smelled damp—like clothes rushed straight out of the washing machine. Still, seeing him spare no expense on food and drinks for me, I thought he truly loved me. So, whenever he called to grab a drink, I would happily run out to meet him.

But after marriage, I learned the truth: he had a lot of loans. He hadn't been able to pay off his student loans because he spent all his money buying me drinks. Having graduated from college without any debt, I felt it was incredibly unfair. But since it was the price of all the food and drinks I had happily consumed during our dating days, I couldn't even complain to my in-laws. I had no choice but to work hard alongside him to pay it all back.

If only I had listened to my father's advice back then: "Never look for a free ride. There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. If you think you're getting something for free, you will have to pay it back multiple times over later on."